


Truth be Told

by VioletTeaTime



Category: The Solve It Squad - Tin Can Brothers
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Bromance, Coming Out, Gen, Internalized, Lesbian Esther, Scrags and Esther being queer besties, Trans Male Character, Trans Scrags, Transphobia, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, but like, personal space? doesnt exsist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:08:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23209810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletTeaTime/pseuds/VioletTeaTime
Summary: It's not as though Scrags doesn't trust the squad, it's just that Scrags is... Scrags.-Scrags slowly comes out on his own terms
Comments: 22
Kudos: 105





	Truth be Told

**Author's Note:**

> i watched solve it squad three days ago and started this about twenty minutes after i finished it so i really hope this shit is in character

They were fourteen years old, and Scrags was scrubbing blood off of his hands. The Case of the Bleeding Birdie held a lot of truth to its name, Scrags was sure he could never eat chicken again. At least, not until dinner. Beside him, Keith checked over his appearance in the mirror, ignoring the red stain on his shirt entirely. Keith clapped him on the shoulder before leaving the washroom. 

In the room next to the washroom, Gwen's parent's living room, he could hear the rest of the gang talking, laughing, without him. Waves of embarrassment washed over him, and suddenly, his sweater felt far too warm. He always felt like the outsider in the group, the last to join, the name tacked on to the end of the group. Nothing special, no traps or brains or beauty. Just hungry Scrags that brought along the good dog. Even Cluebert was with the others, and by the sounds of it, Keith had got him a new toy for helping with the last case. 

The water in the sink basin had turned clear, but he kept scrubbing at his forearms, pink from the heat of the water and harshness of the soap. His face felt cool, and when he met his own eyes in the mirror, he watched as tears slid down. He huffed and wiped them away, blinking rapidly. _Men don't cry._

"Oh, jeepers, is this a bad time?" Esther's voiced lacked its usual enthusiasm, and a small hand found its way to his shoulder. Scrags nodded and turned the tap off, drying his hands on his hoodie.

"Sorry, I'm all good." He cringed at the voice cracks, even worse than usual.

"No you're not." Esther shut the door, trapping them inside the small room. "They're being gross anyway. No one wants to see your tongue down her throat, Keith." Scrags shuddered at the idea, and leaned against the sink, facing Esther. She had always been his favourite, she was an honest person, but knew right from wrong. They had connected on a different level for a long time.

He let out a long sigh, and she waited patiently in front of him. Scrags knew she wasn't the type of person to judge, especially based on things you couldn't change. Esther might shit-talk you over your clothes, but never about anything you couldn't help. 

"Esther..." He shook, his heart rattling around in his chest. She gently held his arms, rolling her thumbs over the bare skin where the sweater had been pushed up.

"Scrags, you know you can tell me anything."

"I know, it... it's just..." He felt like he was choking on his words, bile rising in the back of his throat. He hadn't told anyone about this, not since they moved to town when he was ten, just two years before The Solve it Squad came together. Esther waited, continuing her slow actions.

"Esther, I'm... uh..."

"I'm a lesbian." 

"What?"

"If you're in love with me, don't say it." No. At least he knew she was okay with the Queer community. But being trans is different, it's difficult and confusing and scary and _he knows it's wrong and she'll hate him and tell the others and-_

"Scrags." She had shifted him to sit on the closed toilet. A damp hand towel was laying across his forehead, and as he looked down at his shaking hands, it fell to the ground with a wet slap. Esther was kneeling in front of him, a concerned look on her face. Behind her head, he could see that the door was still shut. His heart beat quickly, and he was sure she could hear it.

"Esther, it's not that I'm... I don't... we're friends."

"Yeah, we are. And friends tell friends what's going on." She sat down, looking up at him like a kid. This was probably the only time he had ever seen her look, or act, her age.

"I'm weird, Esther. I'm not like you guys. I'm not good at stuff, or smart. 'M not even _real_."

"Yeah, Gwen's fake as hell too, what's your point?"

"No, Esther, I mean... _Esther_." His voice cracked, and she nudged him gently. 

"I got my first period a couple days ago." Scrags looked away from her, instead focusing on his trembling hands and his red-tinged nails. "I... uh... you know..."

"Oh. Okay." 

"That's it? That's all you're gonna..." He wavered, and she gently placed a hand over his. Esther came into view, and he could see his pathetic face in the reflection of her glasses.

"I don't need an explanation of you needing to be you," She patted his knee, and stood up from the floor. She extended a hand towards him "wanna ditch the love-bugs and yet some ice cream?" Scrags nodded with a heavy chest and a warm face, and he knew he was safe with her.

-

They were sixteen years old, and Scrags was fucking hammered. He was usually a good kid, but the case they had solved left him with visuals he'd rather not remember tomorrow morning. Keith had convinced his older brother to buy him way too much booze for four kids, and they had driven the van out to the beach. The summer air had chilled long ago, and the sky's inky blackness left a backdrop behind the group. Keith had started a fire, which was definitely illegal but Scrags didn't want to say anything, and Gwen had pulled out a bag of marshmallows. 

Scrags watched, content, as Gwen and Cluebert played in the shallow water with a stick he had picked up on the way to their spot. Beside him, Esther was absolutely gone, a mix of weed and alcohol and something else he had caught her slip down her throat shutting her mind down. She looked happy, unbothered as she watched the stars. Keith waved a plastic bag over the fire, letting it shrivel up in the heat. 

"I can't believe we're almost done with junior year. Where the hell has time gone?" Esther's voice was beginning to lose its childhood squeakiness as they aged. 

"I don't want to talk about growing up." Keith let the bag fall into the fire.

"We should, I mean... what's going to happen. With us?" Scrags pulled at a scab on his knee, letting the dead skin drop onto the white sand. Keith squinted at him, spearing another hot dog onto his stick.

"Dude, what do you mean? Obviously we'll all stay together, we'll get a house together, I'll marry Gwen and Esther and you will get together." Esther snorted beside him, still entranced by the stars above.

"Good luck with that, Scrags. Keith, what part of lesbian don't you understand?"

"Can't spell lesbian without bi." He shrugged and passed his stick to Scrags.

"Jinkin' gross."

"I'm joking, I respect women." Keith laughed as Scrags gave him a side eyed look. "What about you, dude?"

"What about me?" Scrags took a bite out of the hot dog he had roasted on the stick.

"What do you want, dude?"

"I dunno. Maybe I'd like to be a cop, get a nice place in a bigger city. Help people. Get another dog to keep Cluebert company while I'm on a case." Scrags looked into the fire as he spoke, not wanting to look at the others. They wanted to stay together, at least Keith did, but that wouldn't be possible, not unless they all became cops or got PI licences. 

"What about a woman... or a guy? Y'know, do you really want to spend your time alone?" Keith took the stick back from him, and Scrags switched to picking at an old scar on his forearm. 

"I dunno. I can't really imagine someone else wanting to spend their life stuck with me."

"Dude, you fucking rock! Yeah, whoever you marry has gotta be like a good-ass cook, but like... you're a cool dude!" Scrags shook his head, letting a small smile cross his face.

"Yeah, you'd be the only person who thinks that."

"Is it like... a little dick thing? Because some bitches love that." Esther laughed, pulling herself up enough to look at Keith.

"That jink is only in whatever porn you're watching." Keith's face reddened, and he sputtered. 

"Dude! I have a big dick! I can prove it."

"NO! No, Keith, we're good. Esther and I do _not_ need to see... that." Keith shrugged, and looked towards Gwen and Cluebert. She was laughing loudly, tripping over the rough patches in the sand. The dog ran around, weaving between her legs, dragging his stick behind him. 

"Sucks to be you, I guess. I'm gonna go join my girl, you should come." He pulled off his shirt, and Scrags looked at his chest for just a second too long before peeling his eyes away. Scrags had been on hormone blockers for a long time, but they didn't work well enough to give him any resemblance of the flatness of Keith's chest. Just looking at it made Scrags' binder feel tighter. He looked over at Esther, who had fallen asleep, nursing a bottle of vodka between her skinny arms. 

"I...uh. I'm good. You have fun."

"No, dude, it wouldn't be the same without you, c'mon!" Keith reached out and took a handful of the bottom of Scrag's sweater, making the boy freeze. He grabbed onto Keith's wrist.

"I _can't_." 

"Why not, man?"

"I just _can't_. Jesus fucking Christ, Keith, let go of me." Keith dropped his grip on the sweater, a hurt look across his face. Scrags didn't like to swear, he didn't like to be mean, but he was _not_ explaining this shit to Keith. Not now. 

"O-okay, dude. Catch you later."

"Yeah."

-

They were thirty seven years old, and Scrags was no longer ashamed of who he was. He was proud of himself for his career, his house, and now, his work with the Solve It Squad again. He quit his job with the bureau, and each of them scrapped enough money together to do this legally, with the licenses they probably should have had as teen sleuths. So here he was, a grown ass man, sitting in the back of the same van his friends have had for twenty years, and he was truly content.

They had just finished a case, and were heading back to the shitty hotel rooms they had booked a few towns over. Keith had tried to call the case The Case of the Screaming Siren, but Scrags insisted that, as professionals, and adults, they give the cases proper names. Case 13-4-19-SS was officially closed. Esther was lying over his lap, and he slowly ran his fingers through her greasy hair. She had been clean for almost three months now, but it was always really hard for her when she used her super-computer of a brain to its full extent. 

They had conjoining rooms, though the door that connected them was oddly placed, as though it was a second thought, or a response to a structural error. Whatever the case may be, Scrags was just happy not to have to share a bed with any of the others. Esther got up to pee every ten minutes, Gwen's pedicures meant her toenails were always sharp as hell, and Keith's no-homo energy extended so far into the bedroom that he made them build a wall of pillows between them. Despite Keith's complaints, the guys were sharing one room, and the girls had the other, though it didn't really matter, as the connecting door didn't shut at all. 

Their older years meant they wanted to go the fuck to bed once a case was over, and Scrags was happy with the quiet way everyone shuffled about in pyjamas, toothpaste residue on their lips. Seeing Esther in her thick glasses was always a laugh. Keith stood in the door way between the two rooms, still in his day clothes as he spoke to the girls.

"All I'm saying is we could push the beds together and have a kick-ass slumber party."

"I'm not getting anywhere close to you when you're asleep. You look handsy."

"He is."

"Fucking gross."

Scrags snorted at how straightforward Esther was these days, peeling off the damp tank top he wore. His anxiety medication was working, but he always got so stressed out during cases, he felt like a teenager again, with all the gross sweat and vocal cracks. He swapped his khakis for a pair of _Sonic_ pyjama pants, their design faded from years of use. He walked over to the door frame beside his friend, who's smile dropped when he saw Scrags' chest.  
"Holy shit, dude, those are some gnarly scars."

He looked down at his chest. He often forgot about the red marks there, slightly faded into the scraggly amount of chest hair he had. His scars never really healed, despite him getting surgery in his early twenties. His weight fluctuations and general laziness when it came to taking care of himself left the lines plastered a few inches below his nipples. 

"Oh, yeah." He shrugged, and Gwen stood up from where she had been sitting on her bed. He flinched as she ran a pointed nail across one, and it almost made him cross his arms over his chest.

"Scrags, what happened to you? Are you okay?" She sounded genuinely worried, and his heart was warmed for a second. 

"They're really old, Gwen, it's okay." He suddenly felt suffocated in the door frame, with Keith and Gwen surrounding him. Scrags took a half step back.

"Guys, I want to tell you something." His voice wavered, and he felt like a kid again, in the bathroom, crying all over Esther. Gwen took his hand in her own.

"You can tell us."

Scrags took a deep breath. He was comfortable with himself, he knew himself. He was a grown ass man, for God's sake. He can tell his friends, who had never shown him any distrust or distaste, something about himself that was so integral to who he was. He could do it.

"I'm uh... I transitioned into a guy. Those are scars from having breast tissue removed." Keith blinked, looking dumb, though that was usual for him. Gwen took her hand back to cover her mouth, and she made a squealing noise that was sure to alert any dog within two miles.

"Oh my God! I've probably been so insensitive! How didn't I know? I'm such a bad friend!" She latched onto him, and he smiled slightly at the reaction.

"It's not your fault I never told you." She rubbed her back, melting into her warm touch. God, Scrags hadn't had a hug like this in far too long. Keith nodded at him, a goofy grin across his face.

"That's cool, dude! That makes you, like, at least as manly as me, to do all that shit. I'm still afraid of needles, I could never cut my titties off!" Keith slapped him on the back, but let his hand waver. That was the closest Keith would get to having a genuinely nice reaction, which was fine for Scrags. All that mattered was that they knew, and they loved him. Gwen and Keith turned back to Esther, who squinted at them from her place in bed, blankets nested around her.

"Oh, am I supposed to act surprised? Oh, Scrags, good for you! It's almost like I never realized you stole my tampons in high school, congrats, dude. Everyone piss off, I want to sleep." Scrags laughed, relieved she didn't tell the others he told her so many years before. 

As he settled into bed, Scrags was so glad for his friends, for the support he had. They were all outsiders, but at least they had each other. 

**Author's Note:**

> thx for reading! please,,, revive this fandom,,,
> 
> tumblr - violetteatime


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